If you are on the Internet, and unless somebody has printed this page out, left it at a bus stop, and you are now reading it, then you are on the Internet... If you are on the Internet you know the past few weeks have seen one amazing movie trailer after another. Whether or not any of these movies are actually going to be good remains to be seen but one thing is clear: 2015 is the year of the movie trailer. It's now gotten to the point where we have teaser trailers that don't tease the movie... but the trailer of the movie... WE HAVE TRAILERS FOR TRAILERS! Thanks Obama.
Anyways, since I've seen all of these trailers multiple times I figured I'd post them all in one place to make it easier for us to watch obsessively over and over again... because that's what they were designed for.
First up: STAR WARS EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS
This trailer is great because it gives nothing away about the movie, which is what we all want. It references the original Star Wars movies, gives us cool things to look at... and absolutely nothing about the plot. Plus I had to read an interview with the film makers to know that the desert planet shown isn't Tattooine from the other movies... it's some new planet called Jakku!
The final trailer for AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
This movie is coming out the quickest, May 1st. So this trailer has actual scenes... and really focuses on the baddie Ultron and his motivations. I'm super psyched. Also geeky fun fact. The people helping Ultron are technically Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch... and they belong in the X-Men Universe... the rights of which are owned by another movie studio. But since Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch have appeared in Avengers comics before they can also show up in the Avengers movie as long as they don't call them "mutants" like an X-Men (Several more extremely geeky fun facts. Humans who have developed super powers in the Marvel Cinematic Universe are called InHumans instead of Mutants... but in the X-Men Universe Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are brother and sister mutants and their dad is Magneto!)
A super intelligent serial killer dinosaur? That they hunt with trained velociraptors and military helicopters? It's like they took the dreams out of my 8 year old brain and made a movie out of it.
BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE
This is the movie I've wanted to see since I've known movies existed. There is no greater match-up then Batman and Superman. This could end up being the most disappointing thing in my entire life... and I will still go see it a hundred times. The movie is still over a year away so I am still looking forward to the other super heroes that have been mentioned to appear in Dawn of Justice including Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and my favorite hero of all time... The Flash.
Sorry Fast & Furious... but you still aren't the best movie franchise of all time. James Bond aka 007 wins that hands down.
Before we get any further... it would really help out if you just play this song softly in the background.
Okay... drumroll... the following are some of my favorite (that song choice is making more sense now isn't it?) phrases we still use today... and they are my favorite entirely because they don't make a lick of sense in today's crazy modern world.
"Hang up the phone" - Let me ask you something, when was the last time you actually hung a phone? Was it in the past decade? The only phone I've seen in my lifetime that actually hangs is a pay phone. Phones have buttons now but saying "Press the button that isn't really a button but a sensor that can somehow detect my touch through solid glass like a dark wizard so that my call disconnects" doesn't have the same ring to it.
"Hold your horses" I have at most, held just one horse at any given time.
"Under the weather" Technically even if is bright and sunny out that is still weather.... all of us are always under weather all the time.
"Dime a dozen" What can you get for a dime these days? LET ALONE A DOZEN OF A THING (For those of you just tuning in a dozen means 12... which is slightly more than 11 and slightly less than 13, also "tuning in" is a pretty outdated phrase but radios do tune to the correct frequency and of course you know the correct frequency is always 99.1)
"The Sky's the Limit" - The sky is not the limit. We have robots on comets and 5 human beings currently orbiting the earth in a SPACE STATION that is directly past that whole "sky limit" thing. (Here is another fun tangent... the most recent supply run to the International Space Station included a custom built Italian Espresso Machine that will, and I quote, "revolutionize coffee-drinking in space")
Next month we as a society will celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Glen Cambell's "Rhinestone Cowboy." To celebrate this milestone and/or because they got really bored... some guy on the internet mashed together the most epic Movie Western scenes from the past 40 years and scored it to... you guessed it... Rhinestone Cowboy. Yea you've probably seen Clint Eastwood murder bad guys with a six-shooter before, but you haven't seen him to do it while "Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo" plays overhead.
This video wasn't taken in Midland/Odessa but I could easily see it happening here. Also can I just say how much I love the internet? That 7 second video was posted just yesterday and as of writing this has already been viewed over 61 thousand times! It reminds me of the time somebody uploaded a 5 second video of a waffle falling over... that video has now been viewed over 2.8 Million times! Thanks Internet!!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! To celebrate I did some googling and the following are my top 5 favorite St. Patrick's Day Fun Facts.
1. Saint Patrick wasn't originally called Patrick. His birth name was Maewyn Succat (Remember this was Celtic England over a thousand years ago) but he changed it to Patricius when he joined the priesthood.
2. Saint Patrick is credited with driving the snakes out of Ireland but historians now know that during his life Ireland was in a Minor Ice Age and snakes straight up hate cold weather... #Science.
3. The World's Shortest St. Patrick's Day Parade is in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It is only 98 feet long. Last years Parade Grand Marshal was Jim Belushi... nobody knows why.
4. St. Patrick was once put on trial, whatever his exact charges were have been lost to history but his punishment was to "return the gifts that had been bestowed upon him by wealthy women"
5. St. Patrick had a nephew who would also eventually become known as St. Auxilius. Patrick was sainted for bringing Christianity to Ireland, that whole banishing the snakes things, and other miracles like turning a walking stick into a living Tree. Auxilius was sainted for (and I am paraphrasing) "Helping St. Patrick carry his stuff around"