Before we get any further... it would really help out if you just play this song softly in the background.
Okay... drumroll... the following are some of my favorite (that song choice is making more sense now isn't it?) phrases we still use today... and they are my favorite entirely because they don't make a lick of sense in today's crazy modern world.
"Hang up the phone" - Let me ask you something, when was the last time you actually hung a phone? Was it in the past decade? The only phone I've seen in my lifetime that actually hangs is a pay phone. Phones have buttons now but saying "Press the button that isn't really a button but a sensor that can somehow detect my touch through solid glass like a dark wizard so that my call disconnects" doesn't have the same ring to it.
"Hold your horses" I have at most, held just one horse at any given time.
"Under the weather" Technically even if is bright and sunny out that is still weather.... all of us are always under weather all the time.
"Dime a dozen" What can you get for a dime these days? LET ALONE A DOZEN OF A THING (For those of you just tuning in a dozen means 12... which is slightly more than 11 and slightly less than 13, also "tuning in" is a pretty outdated phrase but radios do tune to the correct frequency and of course you know the correct frequency is always 99.1)
"The Sky's the Limit" - The sky is not the limit. We have robots on comets and 5 human beings currently orbiting the earth in a SPACE STATION that is directly past that whole "sky limit" thing. (Here is another fun tangent... the most recent supply run to the International Space Station included a custom built Italian Espresso Machine that will, and I quote, "revolutionize coffee-drinking in space")
Next month we as a society will celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Glen Cambell's "Rhinestone Cowboy." To celebrate this milestone and/or because they got really bored... some guy on the internet mashed together the most epic Movie Western scenes from the past 40 years and scored it to... you guessed it... Rhinestone Cowboy. Yea you've probably seen Clint Eastwood murder bad guys with a six-shooter before, but you haven't seen him to do it while "Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo" plays overhead.
This video wasn't taken in Midland/Odessa but I could easily see it happening here. Also can I just say how much I love the internet? That 7 second video was posted just yesterday and as of writing this has already been viewed over 61 thousand times! It reminds me of the time somebody uploaded a 5 second video of a waffle falling over... that video has now been viewed over 2.8 Million times! Thanks Internet!!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! To celebrate I did some googling and the following are my top 5 favorite St. Patrick's Day Fun Facts.
1. Saint Patrick wasn't originally called Patrick. His birth name was Maewyn Succat (Remember this was Celtic England over a thousand years ago) but he changed it to Patricius when he joined the priesthood.
2. Saint Patrick is credited with driving the snakes out of Ireland but historians now know that during his life Ireland was in a Minor Ice Age and snakes straight up hate cold weather... #Science.
3. The World's Shortest St. Patrick's Day Parade is in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It is only 98 feet long. Last years Parade Grand Marshal was Jim Belushi... nobody knows why.
4. St. Patrick was once put on trial, whatever his exact charges were have been lost to history but his punishment was to "return the gifts that had been bestowed upon him by wealthy women"
5. St. Patrick had a nephew who would also eventually become known as St. Auxilius. Patrick was sainted for bringing Christianity to Ireland, that whole banishing the snakes things, and other miracles like turning a walking stick into a living Tree. Auxilius was sainted for (and I am paraphrasing) "Helping St. Patrick carry his stuff around"
I used to not be a fan of Gordon Ramsay. He was just another guy on TV yelling all the time. I honestly thought he was just a guy who got famous in Europe for playing soccer and decided to become a chef and the idea was so novel they gave him a reality show... and then another one, and another, and then some more. After typing that sentence I got curious just how many shows Gordon Ramsay has had, so I googled it and found out he has had at least 24 shows and/or cooking specials in America and The UK combined. That is a lot of shows, and I pretty much didn't watch any of them. But there is a reason he has had so many. The guy can cook... like really really well. There is a reason he has been awarded 15 Michelin Stars (Michelin Stars are apparently like winning Best Actor, Best Film, and Best Director all at once... but for a chef)
I started to come around when some of his TV stuff went viral. Like when he ate rotted shark with another British TV host. Or when he awesomely described to a blind chef what their dish was like.
But then I became a huge fan when I came across his youtube cooking tutorials. And it has completely changed the way I cook some very basic things.
My favorite is his scrambled eggs.
Or when he makes these epic pancakes...
Or when he makes the perfect steak (the fat frying on the side thing I do all the time now)
Now if you will excuse I mysteriously became starving and have to go eat something.